01.10.13 - I'm lonely... so I blog

Lately, all I've been doing here is whine and complain. Of course, that's what this blog here is for ^_-; Unfortunately for whoever's reading this, I'll be whining/complaining for a bit more. Lol. 

Since I couldn't get anyone to switch schedules with me today (which is shocking because everyone's always trying to get my opening shift; but they couldn't because they had plans or something), I had to set my alarm clock (a new one since my other one died!) to wake myself up even EARLIER than I normally do on opening shifts. I set my alarm at 5am (I usually wake up at 530am). I also went to bed earlier. The only other time I go to bed that is on Thanksgiving night so I could wake up early for Black Friday. I did it because I wasn't sure if I could sleep (haven't slept in 2 days because of the arm pain). It was a good thing I did because though I could sleep, things kept waking me up. (I'm a very light sleeper) -_-;

A few reasons why I woke up earlier:

#1) It takes me longer to shower and get ready for work

#2) It's freezing in the morning and my car is parked in the driveway so it gets iced over and I have to melt off the ice before I can leave

#3) Driving very very carefully because I still couldn't really use my arm.

I admit that when I woke up, I was happy to feel (lol) that I could move my arm upwards and downards more than the last few days. Yay!

Once I got to work, I had trouble getting out of my coat. Lol! -_-; 

03.12.12 - My day and BB Cream talk

Why the heck am I still up? O_o; 

After work last night, I PROMISED myself that I would make a new shade for my regular line. While I did that, I watched Sixteen Candles...

On MeepMoo, they were talking about a Sixteen Candles collection. I really loved this movie. I mean, I have it on VHS. Unfortunately, none of our TVs (recently) have a VCR... :/ So at work today, I got the dvd. Yay for employee discounts ;D

While I was looking for Sixteen Candles, I wandered off to the very neglected MUSICALS section. I didn't think I'd find this there...since the last time I checked our store was sold out and I didn't really want to order it online to pay for shipping. I mean, if I could get a discount on it at my store...I'm going to! Cuz this isn't cheap :P It's $30 (I believe) at regular price. It's not even 2 discs! X_x; Anyway, I was surprised to see that we actually had it in stock. It was the last one so I grabbed it quickstyle!

Anyway, when I got home that night...Mom told me she wanted to go to the farmer's market. So that meant I had to wake up earlier than I usually do on my day's off. I wake up at 10 am on my days off [Don't judge me ;P~] and since we had the "wonderful" time change... it was even less hours for me to sleep. I usually stay up really late anyway so... >__>

01.03.12 - It's only been 2 hours!

RAWRRRRWEROWIEUROIUGHG!!!!

It's only been 2 hours since I woke up and I'm already having a shit-tastic day! I had planned on doing many things but since all this has happened (it's not much but it just makes your day feel like crap)... I don't feel like doing them any more! 

My plans were: 

-film new youtube video [coloring April's drawing]

-do a 2011 drawing compilation for youtube

-draw for i+t

Yep, most of these are for drawing... I know this may sound like an excuse since I always give excuses when I draw ;) ... but I can only draw when I'm in the mood. It's not often either. And this makes it worse

So this is what happened! My family takes turns paying the house bill. I write it on my calender, so I know when it's my turn and etc. It's not my month, but I have to pay it this month ;/ which means next month also. Not only that, I have to pay for car insurance (usually it's like every 6 months but I think they changed companies cuz now I have to pay quite often)... X_x; AND my regular monthly bills.

I had been SO excited because I had a little extra money and I was going to purchase my supplies for my store and stuff... now I can't. Plus, tomorrow is my paid day off [despite what my manager wanted :/] and I planned on watching some movies. I DO have a free movie ticket, but the ones I want to see are "no passes" :/ Wahhh! And I have to find a way to kill time. [whenever I have my paid days off, I don't tell the parents so I can go wherever! and not kept in "prison" at home]

As I was trying to NOT stress about the $...

My doorbell rings...rapidly. Which means... my cousin is here. :/ Ugh! I didn't want to deal with him because he's so annoying and talks about things I didn't care about and somehow puts me down (without him knowing). I opened the door and there he was, he's DEMANDING I go eat with him. Then I look behind him and his parents are in the car and they're telling me to go too. I said no, thank you. The parents weren't home and they'd be pretty ticked if I went.

Then I hear another voice...it's my other cousin (his sister). I guess she's visiting from NY. Honestly, I absolutely POSITIVELY HATE IT when she's here. She makes me feel like a tiny ant and I know this isn't her fault it's more like my parents fault...but whenever she's here... it makes me think of all my failures in life (which is quite a lot). Because she's successful and I'm not. The parents will then compare and then start on how shitty my life is and how useless I am. <--awesome. But that's what always happens when she's here.

I started having a panic attack when she jumped out of the car and demanded that I go too. She demanded to hang out with me. Honestly, we were never close. NEVER EVER, even when we were kids. I was closer to her bro [the one that lives a few blocks away] than her. She's the type that always seems to get her way and everything always seems to happen for her (in a good way, I mean). 

I think I also have social anxiety. If I don't know the person very well and I'm forced to sit with them in... I get extremely stressed. I dunno...

They're going to come back soon, they promised to drag me out to see a movie [I don't want to go with them! :( ]. *sigh*

I wish this day were over already :(

10.21.11 - Gawd my parents are awesome

"You HAVE to lose weight or you won't have any friends" - said by my Dad.

They finally came home on Wednesday. Why must they come home on my days off? ALWAYS! People say that it's because they want to spend time with me. My brother and I say it's because they want to make sure I won't have any "fun". 

They've been away for over a month fixing our SF house. But they would come back for "supplies". They always came back on my days off. I had only ONE day off (from them and work) because I called in sick. 

When they came home, they didn't ask how I was. They didn't worry about me. No, they demanded things. They were mad at me. They criticized me. They were mean to me! W.T.F!? 

Since they've been back, I feel that dread coming back and anger.